Jaded
by FeralElektra
Summary: What if Buffy hadn't run away at the end of season 2? What if she had stayed in Sunnydale? Lets find out...
1. The Pain

Well I'm back...this time with a Buffy fic! Please review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy (gutted hey?) or any of the characters. The flash back has the last moments of Becoming part 2 in it, but i did not copy it, i sat and wrote it!

* * *

A petite form walked into the Sunnydale bus station carrying a large bag. Her blonde hair sticking to her tear stained face. She looked around for a second and abruptly stood still. She saw a man looking at her. The man looked so familiar to her.

"Angel…" She whispered. No, it couldn't have been him. She stopped at the information desk. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. **Can I do this?** She asked herself. Her thoughts travelled back in time, to the moment a part of her soul left her.

"_Angel?" Buffy asked softly, lowering her sword. **Did Willow finish the spell? Is this a trick? **She asked herself._

"_You're hurt." Angel says quietly looking at her wound, his confusion evident in his voice. She looked down at her wound and felt his familiar, gentle touch on her arm. She was so happy to be near him again that she ignored her cut. She looked back up at him and stepped closer to him. As soon as she had, Angel wrapped her up in a tight embrace._

"_Oh, Buffy... God." He mutters, sounding lost. Buffy wasn't completely sure it was her Angel, or another trick of Angelus', but she was so lost in the moment that she accepted his hug._

"_I... I feel like I haven't seen you in months." **That's cos' you haven't** Buffy thought, but she stayed silent. She didn't want to have to think about what was going to happen. She finally accepted that this was Angel; this was the love of her life. She closed her eyes and let out the breath she hadn't known she had been holding._

"_Oh, my God, everything's so muddled. I..." He said, pain clear in his voice, as he held her closer._

"_Oh..." He sighed, kissing her on the shoulder. "Oh, Buffy..." The tears that had been building up in her eyes finally fell. She cried silently into his shoulder and held him close as she heard the low rumble of Acathla awakening. She opened her eyes and stared in shock as Acathla's face contorted, its mouth opened, it formed into the gateway to hell, a swirling vortex. It grew in size quickly. Buffy let go of Angel and looked into his handsome face. _

"_What's happening?" He asked, confused._

"_Shh." She whispered as reassuringly as she could. "Don't worry about it." She brushed her fingers over his lips and across his cheek. She kissed him softly and her heart starts to break as he kissed her back, it became more passionate. She broke the kiss and glanced at the vortex before she looked deeply into his eyes._

"_I love you." She whispered._

"_I love you." Angel whispered back. She touched his lips again._

"_Close your eyes." She whispered again and nodded reassuringly. She watched as he closed his eyes. Don't cry she told herself before kissing her Love again. She paused as she stepped backwards and plunged her sword into his chest. His eyes shot open in surprise. She stepped back again as he reached out to her. Angel looked at her, completely bewildered at what happened, but she could only stare at what she had done._

"_Buffy..."_

_The vortex started to pull him into Acathla. Angel still held his hand out to Buffy. She felt frozen as he was pulled completely into the stone demon. Buffy stared at the demon as she realised what she had lost, what she had done. She started to sob, tears falling freely from her eyes as her heart broke._

"Miss? Are you alright?" A voice said, breaking through Buffy's thoughts. She blinked a few times and wasn't completely surprised she had tears flowing down her cheeks again. She wiped them away quickly and put on a fake smile.

"Yeah I am thanks; I just had something in my eyes." The receptionist just nodded, not believing a word of it. Buffy's heart ached.

"What can I do for you then Miss?" The receptionist asked politely. She had seen a lot of girls come into the Sunnydale Bus Station with the same look in their eyes.

"I need a ticket out of Sunnydale please" Buffy replied. The lady nodded and typed something into her computer.

"Destination?" The receptionist asked, but when an answer didn't come she looked up at the young girl in front of her, whose eyes were glued to the floor. She sighed. "Look, I won't pretend I know what's going on but I have to say that whatever happened it isn't as bad as it first seems and your friends and family would miss you too much if you left." Buffy looked up sharply. "And I know that's probably the last thing on your mind right now? But you'd cause them more pain than I think you'd want to."

"I…I guess you're right…" Buffy stuttered. She hadn't thought of the affects of her skipping town might have on her loved ones…or the entire Sunnydale population. She had been so wrapped up in her pain that she hadn't given them a second thought. She smiled weakly at the receptionist. "Thank you." She said briefly and walked slowly out of the bus station.


	2. Chapter 2

I am so sorry it's taken me thing long to update! But here is chapter 2... The italics is a flashback...

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After she had left the bus station Buffy slowly walked around Sunnydale. As she walked down the main street of Sunnydale, passed the Cinema, she once again lost herself in thought. Where could she go? She knew she couldn't face her friends just yet, and her mum had kicked her out. Angel's… she could stay there. No-one would look for her there, especially the police. The police, another force she had to hide from. A wash of pain ran through her as she thought of Kendra, her fellow slayer, caught in the nightly crossfire, the eternal war between Vampires and Humans, or just the Slayer. She was once again the only Slayer. Her thoughts then drifted to her friends, all in hospital when she had seen them last. Were they ok? She had to go check on them, but she wouldn't let them see her. Not yet. She walked the rest of the way to Angel's small apartment and felt fresh tears spill from her eyes as she sat down on his bed. She hadn't been in his apartment since she had caused him to lose his soul. She lay down on the bed and cried her heart out. She felt broken without Angel. Even when he became Angelus she could still remind herself there was the chance they could get him back, but now he was gone. She wondered how much he was suffering, after all Hell wasn't supposed to be one long party. She slowly drifted off to sleep once there were no more tears to cry.

When she woke up she felt awful. She stretched and rose from the bed. It was then that she remembered Snyder had finally gone through with his threat: she had been kicked out of school. Again.

* * *

_Buffy walked into the Library, she looked around at the damaged room unhappily. She grabbed the yellow police tape and pulled in down, she didn't want Scooby Central to be tainted. She headed towards the table, intent on getting what she had come for and getting out just as quickly. The last thing she needed was the police to find her again. She noticed the chalk outline marking where Kendra had fallen. She slowed down and made sure not to step on it. A wave of sadness washed over her, but she knew she had a job to do, mourning would come later. She reached the table and paused, looking around at the objects left from the spell Willow and the others had attempted, the curse that would have given Angel his soul back. Now, because it had failed, she would have to kill him, hopefully before he brought about the end of the world. She reached under the table; feeling for the bag Kendra had brought with her, and then placed it on the table. She ruffled through the bag for a few seconds, searching for what she was looking for. She sensed Snyder walking into the Library and inwardly groaned. He stopped just inside the door and watched her._

"_You do know this is a crime scene, don't you?" He said, Buffy looked up at him as he approached her. "But then... you're a criminal, so that pretty much works out." _

"_You know I didn't do it. The police will figure it out."_

"_In case you haven't noticed, the police of Sunnydale are _deeply_ stupid." Snyder took a few more steps towards the Slayer. "It doesn't matter anyway. Whatever they find, you've proved too much of a liability for this school." He paused and took a breath. "These are the moments you want to savour. You wish time would stop so that you could live them over and over again." A smug smile moved onto his lips. " You're expelled." Buffy's only reaction was to reach into the bag again and pull out the sword blessed by the knight who first slew Acathla. She held it up and turned it in her hand. Snyder looked from the sword to the wielder and gulped. Buffy gazed at the polished blade._

"_You never ever got a single date in high school," she looked up at him. " did you?" Snyder looked at her, baffled. _

"_Your point being?"_

_She chose not to answer; instead she headed towards the Library doors, making sure to lean the blade into the Principal's face as she passed him. He bent away from the blade and watched her leave.

* * *

_

What would her mum think? She had felt so guilty after herself and her mother had left L.A., she didn't want to have to put her mum through that again. She cringed as she thought of her last words with her mum. She would really have to make that up to her mum, maybe even sit down and discuss her destiny as the Slayer. That would have to wait until the police stopped their search for her. Was there anything she could do to clear her name? She thought not, seeing as her defence would be blaming Drusilla and the other vampires. That would just prove she was insane.

For now, she thought, she would have to settle for living in Angel's old apartment. Soon she would have to face the world, but for now she needed to heal.


End file.
